Books don't judge books, so why do dykes judge dykes?

The blog came about due to my frustration with what is just accepted as 'lesbian behavior.' The Rules, as it were, of being a Dyke. We all like...you pick 'em: the Indigo Girls, Melissa, Ellen, drag kings, kitties, Subarus, Martina, Birkenstocks, football, blah blah blah. I gotta say, I don't like any of the above (I have owned Birkenstocks, though) and if I were to stand up in say -- a Lesbian bar -- and say so, I'd worry about getting my ass kicked. You know the part in Fried Green Tomatoes where the heroine just loses it and smashes her car into the bitches' car in the parking lot? She tells them that she's older and has more insurance? That's where I am in life. I'm older, and I have more ASSURANCE. I know that I don't have to accept the way things are if I don't like the status quo. So, I challenge Dykes to change, to be the person they are without Rules. And, if you feel like you aren't being seen, then dammit, DO something about it!

Subvert the dominant paradigm! But do it by being who you are, not by donning an image. It's the burden of women to want acceptance -- to be 'likeable.' When a woman (say, Martha Stewart) doesn't fit the mold of nice girl (say, Laura Bush) by being competent, opinionated and RIGHT (not that I'm saying Martha was right) about themselves, it threatens everyone's way of looking at women and men and society. Dykes have the dual challenge -- not just that of being a woman in the world, but also being Gay and hoping for acceptance by being nonthreatening, or 'just like straights.' The mistake we make is thinking that we can make ourselves into something other than a threat. I went to Noosa three weeks ago, that's a great place in Australia down under, and i noticed that nobody tries to justify themselves. There's no stereotypes. No I'm a dyke, I'm a surfie, I'm straight, I'm a city girl - everyone is just Australian.

We ought to embrace the fact that we are a threat -- a deserved and timely one -- and just go about living our lives in a visible way, without asking for acceptance. If we assume acceptance, it's likely we'll have it sooner. So, I accept that I'm a threat. I accept that I don't like the stupid Rules of Being a Lesbian. I accept that I have a low tolerance for bullshit and stupidity from ANYONE. And, I also accept that I do myself no favors by not challenging the dogma associated with being a Gay woman in America. I've lived as an outsider all of my life -- born in the early '60's to a biracial couple presented lifelong challenges that made it easier for me to come out and 'be who I am.' I broke rules just by being born. So, I'm not pissed off so much as challenging people to stop being such sheep. Try this: tomorrow when you go about your day, imagine everyone you see is Gay -- unless they do something that labels them otherwise. It's tough, but it'll help you to see the world I hope for. A world in which you can never be sure of anyone's identity other than your own. That, my dear, is true equality. You're right -- a book can't always be judged by its cover. But books don't judge other books -- like some Dykes judge other Dykes -- what? Dykability Quotient? Rambling now, getting off the soapbox.